


A Thousand Stars

by broadwayiscooliguess



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Abuse, Angst, But it's clear I can't do that, Drug Abuse, F/M, I tried to make a happy ending, M/M, Multi, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2018-11-17 02:31:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11266104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broadwayiscooliguess/pseuds/broadwayiscooliguess
Summary: "So you're a prostitute now?""We prefer the term sex worker."_________________________________________________Elder Price has changed a lot since Uganda.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing something so close to smut so that's one thing that could go wrong. I have done some research into prostitution - mainly in the UK - where there are legal red light districts and the effect that prostitution can have on the person and people around them. This is a very sensitive topic and I hope i've done it justice. 
> 
> Warnings:  
> -implications to sex  
> -implications to rape  
> -really bad parenting  
> -a whole lot of angst

He hadn't wanted to do this. He had _never_ wanted to be the kind of person that his mother had warned him about. That list of people was very long, but this was at the top of her list, right alongside serial killers.

Ex-Elder Kevin Price had seen these types of people, many of which were now his close friends and begrudgingly he had to admit consisted of himself as well, back when he was nine years old and his family had took their trip to Orlando. The entire family had been cramped into the smallest mini van Kevin had ever seen and somehow he had claimed the window seat right behind his mother. His eyes widened at the sight of such beauty. Bright lights shimmered and glistened with hope and filled him with promises of a future, after his Mission, where he would live in this amazing place.

His father was driving the family back to the hotel after a long day at Disney World. Kevin, the only one awake, stared with amazement out the window, engulfing everything so that it would stay in his mind forever. Soon, the bright lights were left behind save for the odd bar and people Kevin thought were very strange (afterall, they were up and outside past eleven and standing outside bars _created by the Devil for Sin_ ).

"Who are those people, Mom?" Kevin had asked.

"I didn't know you were still awake, go to sleep darling, we're at Sea World tomorrow," his mother replied.

"Okay, but who are they?" Kevin was never one to disobey his mother's suggestions but he was in _Orlando_ and high off excitement.

"Go to sleep, Kevin," his father said, more forcefully than his mother had; Kevin was almost tempted to do as he said but he saw one of the people, a woman, stepping into a car.

"Why is she going into the car?" he tried to stand up but was restricted by his seat belt.

"Kevin, this is the last time I'm going to say this, _go to sleep_."

"But-"

"They are the work of the Devil. They do not wish to be saved by Heavenly Father, they are _sinners._  Don't talk about them again and don't go near any of them."

The word _sinners_  had been replaced with _prostitute_  when Kevin made it through to High School, by the other kids at least. Kevin remained with the word  _sinners_ because it was at least a little more dignified and _prostitute_ seemed like a word that his father would ground him for if he were to ever repeat it.

The word _prostitute_  had made its way into Kevin's vocabulary during his Mission (which was not in Orlando and instead was in Uganda of all places) alongside swear words that would've sent his father clutching for his copy of the Book Of Mormon. He didn't actually use the word, of course, he wasn't going to be rude. He was still a good, kind Mormon boy at heart and would not be labeling people with derogatory terms.

The word _prostitute_  had been replaced with _sex worker_ a year after he had returned from his Mission. It sounded like a socially accepted job at times ( _ah yes you're a social worker, well, I'm a sex worker you see, oh yes it does pay well and I'm my own boss!_ ) and he would find himself getting offended when people tugged at his hair whilst calling him a _whore_ and a _slut_.

At least he could afford to pay rent in New York without necessarily looking for a flat mate. Kevin didn't actually live on his own, he shared the apartment with two other _sex workers_  and one was slowly becoming his best and to some extent only friend. A couple of years later he would find himself at the heart of their little community with countless friends instead of on the edge and still vastly ashamed that this was what his life had amounted to.

But now, at the grand age of twenty-six, Kevin was proud that he could afford a decent apartment. He was proud that he was surrounded by comforting and loving friends. A family that he had found all on his own - the first one since Uganda. And he was proud that he hadn't crawled back to the Mormon Church like his parents thought he would do.

It was a late September night when Kevin was reunited with his past. All was going well until a gun had been pointed at his face when he had asked his client if they had any diseases that he should be aware of, and if so, protection would be the best way forward for the both of them. When his client had said that they wouldn't be wearing protection, Kevin immediately asked them to stop the car, afterall, he didn't want to have medication on his hands and medical bill.

That's when the gun had been thrusted at his face.

Kevin stilled his complaints and stopped trying to open the car door. His heart pounded in his chest, brain whirring at a million miles an hour, until he decided that if he just gave the client a blow job without payment, he might get out of this unscathed and be able to walk home. That plan failed when he didn't recognise the area that his client had drove him to and he certainly wouldn't be asking them to take him back to where they found him.

He was royally screwed.

Kevin kept silent for a further ten minutes as his client drove him steadily away from home and all that he knew. The pit of anxiety in his stomach continued to grow and soon spread to the rest of his body which urged him to get as far away from this client as soon as possible.

The car stopped. Kevin whipped his head round to see the client, a man, stepping out of the driver's side. This was his chance; lock the doors, ring Liv or Rosa, and hope that the man would lose interest. That happening was about as likely as Kevin setting foot in Salt Lake City again. The sooner he complied, the quicker he could try and get home.

A rough hand dragged him from the car. Disorientated for only a second, Kevin almost fell to the ground before he was shoved against a wall, the wind thoroughly knocked from him.

"God you're pretty," he heard the man mumble against his ear, pressing kisses against Kevin's neck.

That was at least two rules broken already. Kevin didn't do kisses, that only swayed him from the job at hand. That coupled with the gun and no protection, well, he was going to break down at some point anyway, why not now?

"Hey!" Kevin heard another voice shout from further away. "What are you doing? I don't think he wants you to do that!"

The man ignored the voice, instead going at Kevin's neck with new found vigor. He quickly made his way down to Kevin's belt, struggling to undo it and then he was splayed out on the floor in front of Kevin.

"What the fuck, man?"

"He obviously doesn't want you to do that. Go on then, try me. I've fought off worse than you before."

Kevin was sure a fight was about to break out and didn't really want to be a part of it. Why couldn't the stupid voice keep out of it? Just let him do his job and deal with the consequences, even if it meant another trip to the doctors and another round of medication, at least no one would get hurt.

"You okay?" a hand lifted Kevin from his awkward half sitting half standing position.

"Yeah, thanks for that. Where did he go?" Kevin noticed the car was gone as was his ex-client.

"He drove off."

Kevin didn't dare look up at his saviour. It was better to not look, especially if he ended up becoming one of Kevin's regulars.

"Okay, right, well I'll be going then."

"Wait! I, I mean, it's late, what if someone else, well, you know."

Oh, _oh,_  okay. So the voice was going to become one of his regulars. No one else would ask Kevin to wait up.

"Right, well, prices vary from thirty for a hand job all the way to two fifty if you want to get kinky. Protection if you want full on. Don't kiss me. Roleplay will double your price-"

"What?"

"Look, my prices are low compared to everyone else's, there's someone I know who charges a hundred for a blow job and I think that's a bit excessive-"

"I don't want that."

"Well, just tell me what you want and I can price it up for you."

"I don't want _sex_ , God, I just wondered if you wanted a place to stay tonight. It's late," the voice chuckled awkwardly and that made Kevin actually turn to look at his saviour. "And I can drop you off wherever in the morning."

Now _that_  sounded like a good deal. Even if Kevin couldn't really see his face, there was something innately comforting about his voice. And he had come to save Kevin from...whatever had just happened.

"Thanks, but I don't even know your name," Kevin gave a smile, something that was similar to the old smile that he used to plaster on his face incessantly when he was a Missionary in training.

"Connor McKinley."

" _Fuck_ ," Kevin turned away and began to walk away from his saviour. He hadn't planned for this to happen, he didn't want to meet with anyone that he once knew. He wanted to stay on the down low and now McKinley knew that he was this type of person - the Heavenly Kevin Price who dreamed of success, just asked his Ex-District Leader if he wanted sex.

"But-"

"Just stay away, leave me alone."

Kevin continued to walk quickly away. He heard the footfalls of McKinley follow closely behind him and his laboured breath. At least Kevin had stamina.

"I just want to help you."

"You can't."

"You haven't told me _your_ name yet, that's just a bit rude if I'm honest."

Kevin stopped suddenly and pinched the bridge of his nose. McKinley was going to find out soon enough, he was always persistent and Kevin couldn't see him growing out of that any time soon.

"Come on, I won't bite, honest," Connor's voice was laced with concern which just about broke Kevin's heart.

"Promise you won't get mad," Kevin gripped his hair in frustration at both himself and the _stupid client - if you're going to do it, at least go somewhere private jeez._

"Why would I get mad?"

And Kevin could almost see Connor. He'd have one hand on his hips, the other dangling uselessly at his side, and a look of concern fluttering across his eyes. His lips would be pursed in confusion, barely visible frown lines dancing on his forehead but even then he'd look perfect. He'd seem normal. And normal was what Kevin had been craving for years so he scrunched his eyes tight so that he wouldn't see the glare of abject shame and turned around.

He expected at best for Connor to gasp with shock, call him a _slut_ , a _whore_ , an _abomination._  At worst, he'd expected for Connor to accept Kevin's offer of some form of favour which would be entirely humiliating due to him being _Ex-District Leader_.

What happened was better than Kevin had ever imagined.

Connor took him into a hug. The most comforting, homely hug that Kevin had experienced in years and, _God,_  he hoped it would never end.

"You have _so_  much explaining to do."

 


	2. Chapter 2

"Where the _hell_ have you been? We've been worried sick, we thought someone had killed you!"

Kevin knew that Liv (his closest friend and one of his flat mates) had every reason to be angry but that didn't make Kevin any less annoyed with her concern. Liv was the one who usually stayed over at client's houses, not bothering to message Kevin or their other flat mate, Rosa.

"They came close as well," Kevin said, discarding his shoes only to be met with Liv's accusatory stare. "He had a gun, decided to drive me to the other end of the city, felt me up, and then I was saved by someone who I knew, who I then offered sex, who put me up for the night."

"And you didn't think to message one of us?"

So that's what Liv got from that.

"I had a _gun_ pulled on me! A _gun_!"

"And the other night someone almost stabbed me because I'm not the one who does roleplay. Do you know how disheartening it was to realise that they didn't want me?" Liv placed a hand on her chest, a grin spread across her features. "You're getting more regulars, Kev, and they all want you in uniform."

"Do you want to hear about my awkward yet thrilling encounter with my District Leader or not?"

"I'll get the coffee."

And it had been awkward yet thrilling.

Normally Kevin would be completely calm with the situation. In fact, he had imagined a chance meeting with both Arnold and Connor but mainly with Connor. Connor would be shocked yet still loving toward Kevin, telling him that he had missed him. Connor would close the gap between the two of them, pressing his lips tenderly to his own which was ironic in itself when Kevin resented the clients who kissed him even though he had strictly said _no kissing._ Kevin would smile into the kiss, Connor would say that he loves him and never had stopped loving him. Kevin would suggest they go somewhere more private where he could show Connor some tricks of the trade that he had perfected over the years.

Kevin's fantasies had been inaccurate. Very much so.

"How was Australia?" Connor asked after two minutes of silence between them.

"Huh?" Kevin turned to Connor, seeing that he was very much serious.

"You went to Australia. Rehab, right?"

"I don't think so," Kevin gave a confused smile.

"You went to Australia for rehab. I don't know how we didn't see the withdrawal signs in Uganda if I'm honest. You seemed too perfect and then you had that breakdown over coffee. Withdrawal symptoms," Connor's face lifted in satisfaction at having worked something out though Kevin wasn't sure what.

"I've never been to Australia nor addicted to drugs if that's what you're implying," Kevin rolled his eyes, looking once again out the window of Connor's car, seeing blurred lights flash past.

"Sure you have! Your parents sent you after your Mission, but you quit a month in," Connor seemed to be reciting from memory.

"I wondered what my parents would say, but that is one the _fucking funniest_ _things_ _I've_ _ever heard!_ Addicted to _drugs_?! _Australia_ _?!_ They really went all out didn't they?!" Kevin exclaimed.

"You seem high, are you high?"

"I've never taken drugs in my life! Jeez, and I thought Mormons weren't supposed to lie."

"Wait, so you've never taken drugs?"

" _No!_ I'll get paid for sex but that's a bit too far if I'm honest."

"So you're a prostitute now?"

"We prefer the term sex worker. But drugs, _drugs!_ I bet that went down a storm: _Mormon Poster Boy Kevin_ _Price_ _sent to Australia_ _for_ _taking_ _drugs._ Did I get a column? Please tell me they wrote a column about me because that would make my life."

"There was a section about a family needing prayers at one of the sermons Arnold forced me to go to. That their son had turned to the Devil," Connor said, a grin appearing. "Which certainly did happen then, I'm assuming."

"Don't, don't call it that. It's just as valid a job as, I don't know, a politician or a store worker except I get paid more than a store worker and I get to sleep in," Kevin sighed dramatically. "How much further?"

"Two minutes. I didn't mean to offend you or anything, it's not the sort of job I'm used to talking about."

"It's fine. So, do you still talk to Arnold and Nabulungi?" Kevin twisted the conversation away from himself - it's not that he was now ashamed about his living, it was that people didn't really like talking about sex in public except if they were completely comfortable with themselves.

"I live with them. I know, before you say anything, that it's weird living with a married couple-"

"It's not weird. I've seen worse."

"Right, okay. Poptarts - you remember Elder Thomas don't you? - also shares with us and we see the rest of the Elders each year at Christmas. You should totally come with us this year! I know it's in three months or whatever, but everyone will be so happy to see you, and oh em gosh, Arnold will faint! I can't believe I found you again. This is the best thing since, since baptising Mafala. Naba will scream, I bet you she will and Poptarts will definitely give you a hug - he keeps saying that he misses his late night talks buddy," Connor looked toward Kevin who was glaring at his hands. "You okay?"

"I don't know, it's like nothing's changed between you all," Kevin felt the car pull to a stop. "This it?"

"Yeah. You won't see any of them tonight if that's what you're worried about. Poptarts is out on a date or something, he won't be back until the morning. Arnold and Naba are in Orlando for their anniversary - Arnold's reasoning was that he might see you there," Connor stepped from the car and Kevin followed behind him.

The neighbourhood was nice. Large houses stood on one side of the road, vines draped from their walls, and trees in their front yard. Apartment blocks rose on the other side, not as pretty as the houses, but nevertheless seemingly largely expensive and modern.

"We got the ground floor because it came with a garden," Connor explained, opening the door to his apartment to reveal a large open planned kitchen diner which led to a living space which in turn led to a patio.

"How the _hell_ can you afford this place?"

"Arnold's family is rich as heck, Poptarts inherited money when his parents died the other year, and I muddle along somehow."

God, he, Liv, Rosa could bring all of their regulars here and still have room for more.

"You want a drink?"

"I'm good, I kind of want to sleep though. It's been an interesting day," Kevin said.

"Yes, right, of course. We don't have a spare room," Connor led him up the stairs - _stairs?! How rich_ _were_ _they?_ \- gesturing to three closed doors, each with a different sign on them ( _one read: enter only if you have poptarts; another: if you_ _don't_ _think that Sam was the real hero of the Hobbit you_ _can_ _leave; the last one: please tap dance your way_ _in_ _)_ _._ "But you can pick either Poptarts' or Arnold's and Naba's."

"Thanks, see you in the morning then."

"Yeah, night." 

He slept badly. Scratch that, he couldn't sleep at all. Kevin tossed and turned all night in Arnold's bed, his mind racing because _holy shit he was sleeping in_ _Arnold's_ _bed and was closer than he had been in years to his...best friend?_ Could he still call Arnold his best friend? There was Liv, who he had told his life story to (the sex worker sob story as she had put it) apart from the parts with Connor, and she could tell him exactly what he was thinking. But _Arnold_ _._ Arnold had seen him at one of his worst moments  (as had Liv), when he had first renounced his faith. Arnold was the first one to know what the General had done to him - and that fact alone should have deterred him from sex work in the first place.

And then Nabulungi. She had been one of the most supporting people Kevin had ever met but what would she think if she saw him like this? Would she turn her back? No, no she wouldn't. She was understanding but then again, six years had changed Kevin, who knows what they would have done to Naba. She could be stuck up yet she couldn't, she had grown up in poverty so that wouldn't be in her bones. It was all very frustrating.

Poptarts. What would he think? He'd heard Kevin's one am ramblings about sex before marriage and now he'd spent six years contradicting this point. He could hate Kevin - they all could and then he'd break again.

But Connor hadn't done anything to imply that he hated Kevin. And how was he supposed to react to that? He had spent years thinking that when, _if_ _,_ he saw his Ugandan family again they'd reject him yet Connor had accepted him with open arms.

As light began to pour into the room, Kevin decided to stop thinking negatively as it would get him no where. He pulled his clothes back on from the previous night, the tightness of his jeans now uncomfortable, fumbling around for his phone. Somehow he found it tangled in the covers - he had ten missed calls from Liv and seven from Rosa as well as a text from one of his regulars about meeting up for _the usual_ _._

He'd explain his whereabouts to Liv and Rosa later but messaged the client back with a _sure. 9_ _alright_ _for you_?

Connor kept his word and, after Kevin had ransacked the entire kitchen in search for coffee (of which there was none), took the fourty minute journey into the city.

"So what do you do? Any Broadway debuts to speak of?" Kevin asked, five minutes into the journey.

"None so far. I've done a few workshops, planting seeds and all that, but we can talk about me another time. Has that, what happened last night, has it happened before?" Connor, although still focusing on driving, seemed so _damn_ concerned it would almost be laughable to Kevin the day before - now it was welcome.

"It's my job, Connor. It's happened every night for the past six years," Kevin shrugged, dismissing the question easily.

" _N_ o, I meant, if well, if someone had ever forced themselves onto you, y'know, and if someone hadn't stepped i-"

"Yeah, if that's what you want to hear. Sometimes they refuse to pay so they get angry and if they have a weapon you go along with it. Don't look at me like you pity me, it's my life. I'm used to it, stop worrying," Kevin said, the smallest of smiles creeping onto his face.

"You shouldn't be used to it. I can get you out if you want. We can go to your parents, I'm sure they'll be happy to have you back, or maybe you can stay with us until you get another job and then you can go to college and everything will be fine, I'll make sure of it," Connor said.

"I don't _want_ _out_ , Connor. I'm good at this, people pay me more than minimum wage."

" _It's_ _dangerous_ _though!_ What if you get arrested? Or, or someone hurts you and you can't do anything because it's-"

" _My_ life! I don't want to talk about this anymore! Alright?!" Kevin exclaimed. "I'm sorry. You've helped me enough already."

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed it."

Silence overcame them for the better half of a minute, and then-

"Are you still Mormon?" Kevin asked, forcing nerves down to his stomach. If Connor was still Mormon, he'd have already chastised Kevin for the _sex_ _before_ _marriage_ thing but Kevin _had_ to ask. He'd certainly lost his faith after Uganda, but Connor had still held onto some faith during their escapades under the boiling sun. Even Arnold had some faith the last time Kevin had seen him.

"Not anymore. I left the Church a year after we came back. It seems they have a problem with my sexuality," Connor said, a sarcastic tone lacing his words. 

"What about Arnold? Naba? Poptarts?"

"Naba still believes in the Book Of Arnold, well, some of it. She's got over the frog metaphor."

"That was the best thing I'd heard. Their play was _life_ _changing_ _!_ Is erm, is Mafala still alive?"

"He died a couple of months after we came back. We had a service over here and we wanted to invite you but you were apparently in Australia then," Connor said. "Where were you? If you weren't there?"

"Orlando," a soft smile graced Kevin's lips.

"Of course. Your only love!"

Kevin rolled his eyes. He had mentioned the place many times to Connor and practically every night to Arnold when in Uganda. He had been so naïve then, unable to comprehend how much his life could change in a single second. Good things rarely happened to good people and Kevin certainly wouldn't be getting Planet Orlando as a reward if he ever made it up to heaven.

"That is very true," Kevin chuckled. "Speaking of love, how's your love life coming along?"

Connor sighed. "Bone dry, I haven't been on a date in _weeks_ _!"_

"I know someone who'll go on a date with you, for a price of course."

" _Kevin!_ I am not about to pay someone to go on a date with me! That's, that's just not right! I'm _offended_ that you'd even think that!"

"Relax, I was joking," Kevin said. "If you want you can drop me off here. The traffic will only get worse and I can walk faster than you can drive."

"Are you sure?"

Kevin nodded in response, preparing to leave the car.

"Before you go, promise me that you'll stay in contact. Message me, call me, anytime and I'll always answer."

Kevin didn't do promises. He didn't do kisses either but he wouldn't remind Connor of that, so why would he tell Connor that he wouldn't keep the promise?

"I promise."

Kevin finished his story and his coffee. He quirked his eyebrow up, waiting for a response from Liv, whose own eyebrows were raised in what Kevin hoped was shock and not amusement.

"So?"

"That was not thrilling. Where was the part where you had sex?" Liv stood dramatically from the kitchen table. "You're really boring, y'know that right?"

"I was _not_ about to have sex with him!" Kevin followed suit and looked in the fridge. "We're out of milk."

"You came home late, you go get it."

"Fuck you, Liv."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter!! I found it easy to write when I found my muse but sorry for the amount of speech - it's either all speech or all paragraphs of explanation ugh. Liv is honestly my fave pls support her in her struggles. (Comments keep me going)


	3. Chapter 3

 

**Connor, 26th September, 11:26:** _Hey, just wondering if you had got home_ _safely_ _,_ _wouldn't_ _want_ _anything_ _to happen to you. Message me soon, much love <3, CM _

**Connor, 26th** **September** **, 13:51:** _Are you home?? I know you_ _saw_ _the_ _last_ _message_ _lol but just wanted to make_ _sure_ _, CM_

**Connor, 26th September, 23:44:** _I_ _needs_ _to_ _know_ _you're_ _okay, okay??_ _Sorry_ _if_ _I_ _keep annoying_ _you_ _tho :( CM_

**Connor, 27th September, 10:53:** _I just_ _realised_ _you might have_ _been_ _working or_ _something_ _last night whoops CM_

**Connor, 28th September, 16:11:** _Do you_ _want_ _to go out for_ _coffee_ _sometime?? You can have the_ _coffee_ _obviously and_ _I'll_ _stick with hot chocolate CM_

**Connor, 29th September, 03:44:** _I_ _really want_ _to_ _see you_ _again_ _I_ _don't_ _care if_ _this_ _sounds desperate_ _I_ _want to get to_ _know_ _you_ _again_ _CM_

**Connor, 3rd** **October** **, 08:07:** _We're having a small get_ _together_ _today for Poptarts'_ _birthday_ _._ _Do_ _you want to come? I_ _haven't_ _told_ _anyone_ _about_ _meeting_ _you_ _again_ _because_ _I_ _didn't_ _know if you_ _wanted_ _me to. I think_ _it'd_ _be good for_ _you_ _, y'know? Meet_ _Arnold_ _again and Naba. I want_ _you_ _to come. It starts at 1_ _CM_

It's not that Kevin had been purposefully avoiding Connor's messages - yes, yes he had - it's that, well, the thing was that... Kevin wasn't entirely sure why he had been ignoring Connor's messages, afterall, the response had been largely positive, and even Liv had said that Connor was one of the most understanding people she had heard of in years.

"You're going," Liv had said, her eyes fixed to Kevin's phone screen.

"What? Why do you have my phone? Is personal privacy not a thing here?"

"Your District Leader person invited you to a pastry's birthday and you're going."

"I'm really not. Can I have my phone back?"

"Sure, but you've said you're going now so you have to," Liv handed Kevin his phone back with a grin.

**Kevin, 3rd October, 11:32:** _Sure, see you there._

"I was ignoring him on purpose, Liv!" Kevin stared back at her, betrayal evident.

"Have fun at the party, you'd better start getting ready!"

It was still just as pretty an area as it had been at night time, only this time colours popped out. Bright pinks of flowers adorned the green and contrasted against the bland brick.

Kevin pressed the buzzer, awkwardly straightening his shirt in an attempt to still have some resemblance of self respect. A backpack rested on his shoulders, supplies for work tucked neatly inside - he wasn't about to let anyone go near it. 

Connor opened the door, a pale green sweater wrapped around his waist and a white dress shirt tucked neatly into black jeans. His face immediately lit up and he shocked Kevin by embracing him in a hug. When they pulled away, a tinge of crimson spread along Connor's cheeks.

"Come in, I'm a really bad host, honestly, please mind the push chair, I should've told them to put it somewhere else," Connor shut the door. "Thank you for coming. Are you okay? I just wondered because you didn't answer any of my texts and I thought you might have been injured which-"

_"Please shut up," Kevin said and_ _placed_ _his lips_ _against_ _Connor's_ _._ _Somehow_ _they_ _were_ _sweeter_ _than_ _they had been before,_ _softer_ _almost, more mature and, God, they knew what they were doing._

"Please shut up," Kevin said, amused. "I'm fine, I just needed to have some time to think."

"Oh, right. That makes sense," Connor felt his neck prickle with embarrassment.

Connor gestured for Kevin to put his bag anywhere in the smallest hallway that Kevin had ever seen. After putting his bag between the push chair and the wall (because if someone found what was inside they'd die on the spot), Kevin found himself resting against a kitchen counter, watching Connor empty salad into a bowl.

"Have you told anyone that I was coming?" Kevin refused look up from the floor.

"No, I dropped a couple of hints to Arnold," Connor sighed, handing the bowl to Kevin.  "But he didn't realise that I'm gay until he found me with a guy a year after we came back. And even then I had to explain it to him with references to Star Trek, I think it was Star Trek. Anyway, take that out and I'll be out in ten minutes."

Clutching the bowl tightly, Kevin stepped out into the garden, in awe at its magnificence. The patio that he had hardly seen the last time he had been, was large and wooden. A group of people that Kevin didn't recognise stood chatting, their laughter echoing across the rest of the garden - he held back a glare, afterall, they were allowed to be loud, to be raucous because they were more innocent than Kevin could ever be again. 

The rest of the garden was filled with young adults making polite conversation - _"_ _I'm_ _a_ _social_ _worker!" "That must_ _be_ _a difficult job." "I survive with copious amounts of alcohol!" -_ that verged on pretentious. Kevin would have lapped this situation up as an early Missionary, and even when he had returned to the US, but now, he wished he could curl up and not have his actions judged by anyone in society.

A laugh echoed louder than the rest. Kevin recognised it and cringed. _No he_ _couldn't_ _do this not now, not ever, he_ _couldn't_ _face Arnold, how was he even meant to face_ _Arnold_ _? Arnold would_ _probably_ _see it on_ _Kevin's_ _face_ _and_ _he'd_ _hate him, he would. And then Connor would see sense_ _and_ _-_

Kevin placed the salad bowl on the food table.

He didn't know what to do next. He could go back inside and ask Connor if there was anything else he could do. Was there another salad bowl that needed bringing out? Maybe more sandwiches needed to be made, or he could boycott the thing entirely and sneak out and over a fence.

But then again- _no_! Kevin was going to leave then probably eat his troubles away in ice cream and cookies. He'd apologise to Connor at a later date, say that he wasn't feeling well, say that he'd contracted an STD, Connor would have to believe that. And then he wouldn't have to come face to face with Arnold and have to explain himself which he didn't know how to do.

"Are you going to stand there all day? Some people have two mouths to feed!"

"Shit, I mean, shoot, I'm so sorry," Kevin mumbled, stumbling out of the way to let the woman through.

"Don't worry," the woman moved in front of Kevin, grabbing a plate. "I'm sure my husband can wait a couple more seconds."

"Right," Kevin ran a hand through his hair and then cursed at himself- _it had_ _to_ _last for another few hours yet goddamn it._

The woman looked and sounded vaguely familiar, another vision from the past, perhaps?

"Nabulungi?" He asked, ready to run if he'd got it wrong for fear of embarrassment.

"Yes, do I know y-" She turned fully to Kevin, her eyes widening in shock and then elation, a large smile appearing. " _Kevin_!"

"He-"

Kevin was interrupted by Naba throwing her arms around Kevin's neck, the plate left forgotten on the table. Tentatively, Kevin hugged back, the form of innocent human contact all but brought a tear to his eye.

"I have missed you so much," Naba murmured into his chest, her soft curls tickling at his nose in a way that they hadn't so before.

"Yeah, me too," somehow he held her tighter, afraid that if he let go, she would dissipate.

Naba led Kevin away from the food table, dragging him toward a picnic blanket that had been layed on the floor. She was beautiful to look at six years on and Kevin was glad that she hadn't lost her loveable but somewhat ( _sometimes)_ disagreeable charm.

"But what about th-"

"Arnold can wait, and anyway I want to talk to you," Naba sat down and, so as not to look entirely awkward, Kevin did so as well. "First off, are you still taking drugs?"

" _No!_ Jeez, if your next question is about Australia then I'm afraid you're going to be very disappointed."

"It was actually going to be how long have you been clean?"

"Twenty six years. I've never taken them, I should've asked Connor to tell you," Kevin said and then took it upon himself to explain that his parents had lied but gave no inclination towards his _sex worker sob story_ by telling Naba nothing about his line of work. After this, Naba directed the conversation to other things, noticing Kevin's slight discomfort.

"Arnold's looking for you," a woman told Naba, interrupting their conversation about the time Kevin had screamed when he saw a scorpion and Naba had simply thrown a bucket over it.

Naba thanked the woman. Kevin knew that this meant that their talk had come to an end because _he really_ _didn't_ _want to face Arnold._ But even so, a small part of him tugged towards his previous best friend, as though enticing a moth to a flame; dangerous but too bright to resist.

"Come on," Naba tugged his wrist.

"No, I really should be going," Kevin attempted to pull out of Naba's hold but failed.

"Arnold will want to see you."

"I can't, he'll-I'll... I can't..."

"Please, he's missed you."

And that just about broke Kevin's heart.

Arnold shouldn't have to worry about him, he shouldn't have to miss him, he should've just forgotten and moved on, leaving Kevin a distant memory. Kevin had left Arnold before and he'd done it again, he could've turned around and walked back or used the _goddamn_ _money_ to find a way back to Salt Lake. No. Instead he'd gone to Orlando and made who he was now. Kevin didn't deserve to see Arnold and his probable forgiveness.

Before Kevin could pull away again, Naba had guided him to where Arnold was stood with Poptarts and a couple of people who looked somewhat familiar but Kevin couldn't place their names. He felt fear murmur in his chest verging on panic. He wanted out, to go home, back to Liv and forget that Elder Price had ever existed. To forget that Uganda had ever existed and that Connor had ever existed under a hot sun and looking so gosh darn beautiful that Kevin would go against his parents word and stay there _for Connor._

"-ink that the joke needs to go now. I mean, poptarts are good and all, but I think giving me twenty seven packets is a bit excessive... oh my gosh, Kevin Price!?" Poptarts stared, eyes wide, wine glass almost falling from his hand.

"What, where?!" Arnold turned around and Kevin felt his heart rise to his throat.

"Hey, guys, I, well hello. _God_ I'm not good at this."

"Best friend?" Arnold's voice was softer than Kevin expected.

"Hey buddy."

Arnold all but leapt toward Kevin, his arms wrapping around Kevin's waist tightly, something that when Kevin first met Arnold made him severely uncomfortable. That uncomfortableness had been erased in Uganda and seemed to have persevered to now because Kevin had never felt more at home, and more hopeful until now.

_(He had felt hopeful when he first met Liv after the_ _initial_ _"_ _Oh_ _my god, get them to pay first!" but_ _emotions_ _were_ _complex_ _things that Kevin_ _didn't_ _really_ _understand_ _so he_ _just_ _let them run amock and hoped_ _they_ _wouldn't_ _take over. Sex workers shouldn't show their emotions, only act_ _like_ _they want it in order to get a larger tip.)_

"You're not dead!" Arnold exclaimed, still (somehow) holding onto Kevin, his head firmly lodged into Kevin's ribs.

"I might be if you don't let go," Kevin chuckled breathlessly but even so placed his hand on Arnold's back comfortingly.

"But where'd you go? Your pare-"

"Lied," Connor said, coming to stand with the group. "I can tell them if you want me to, Kevin."

"No, I can do it. Not now, later when there's less people," Kevin replied, thankful that Connor had asked his permission- people in the past had been less than kind. "You should all tell me about what I've missed!"

And they did.

Connor spoke about his first audition back in the states. How he'd completely failed trying for a local theatre company when his voice had cracked during the chorus of _Stars._ He'd had many more auditions over the years but had avoided _Les Mis_ like the plague.

Nabulungi was proud to say that she had completed her high school education with help from Arnold and his parents and had gotten in to college. Her eyes shone with tears and happiness when she said that _Baba would be so happy._

Poptarts had said that with the money that his parents had left behind, he had created a dance centre for underprivileged kids in honour of his sister. He mentioned that Connor helped out sometimes, especially near recitals when the kids would get too rowdy to control backstage.

Arnold had tried to sell copies of the Book Of Arnold but they hadn't flew as much as he hoped they would. Instead, he had turned his attention to fictional stories that contained characters of his own making and not of pop culture.

During everyone's tales, of which Kevin was suitably enraptured, Arnold found ways to constantly touch his best friend be it through slight grazes of hands or full on hugs that appeared every ten minutes or so. Kevin knew that Arnold was hands on before, but this seemed to be a new extreme which Kevin blamed himself for because _he could have walked back,_ _turned_ _around and_ _be_ _here_ _without_ _immense pressure building on his chest._

Early afternoon drifted into mid afternoon and then darkened into early evening where Kevin and his friends - _family_ \- congregated around the dining table, glasses of wine expertly poured and drunkenly spilled in Poptarts' case. Kevin was prepared to leave without explaining himself, ready to escape but not forget, not anymore. That plan was foiled by Connor and his soft glare - _how could_ _somebody_ _glare like that?_ _Must_ _be the_ _District_ _Leader_ _inside_ _him_ \- that forced Kevin to sit and wait until one of them asked what had happened to him.

"So," Poptarts started. "We've told you our life stories, now it's your turn."

"Okay," Kevin exhaled, looking to Connor for support. "I... so, my parents lied about everything. Anyway, the short version; I'm a sex worker, I get paid to have sex."

Silence permeated the air and Kevin could almost feel their judgement. Connor was going to see sense any second and start shouting and he couldn't deal with that. He was tainted, a _whore, a slut, and he_ _didn't_ _deserve_ _anything_ _._

"You're a _prostitute_?! Arnold screeched and stood from his chair.

"Look, I should g-"

"That's not the proper _term,_ Arnold," Connor scolded.

"I really should, ju-"

"But, but he gets paid, to, y'know! Holy moly, _did you know_?" Arnold gasped. 

"Thank you for everyth-"

"I've known for a week, I met him again a week ago," Connor explained.

"I'll text y-"

"And you didn't tell me!" Arnold frowned.

"It was nice to see you ag-"

"I didn't know if he wanted me to, alright?! Don't make me out to be the bad guy here!" Connor raised his hands in surrender.

"I think it's brave of you, Kevin," Naba smiled and held out her hand for Kevin to rejoin the table.

Kevin didn't feel very brave when he got changed in the back of a taxi, pulling his Missionary uniform from his backpack. He put his tie on with ease but struggled to find his name badge and ended up chucking his normal clothes from the bag, decorating the taxi in material.

His mind kept going back to the rest of the conversation. Arnold and Connor stopped their bickering to see that Kevin was being comforted by Poptarts and Naba who reassured him that they wouldn't hate him at all, how could they hate him when he was such a good person? _(Kevin was_ _tempted_ _to give them reasons_ _but_ _didn't)._

Arnold hugged him from behind and Connor placed a hand on his shoulder. Kevin felt himself relax into their touch, the pent up frustration at both himself and the world lessening with each breath, with each murmured reassurance.

Even so, Kevin had said that he needed to leave as his next client was expecting him at seven on the dot and it was six twenty which gave him ten minutes of waiting for a taxi and another half hour of traveling as the client's house was much nearer than Kevin's own apartment. The group looked devastated; they had only just gotten their friend back and now he had to go away, it was unfair.

The taxi pulled up towards the house, the driver giving him a confused stare. Kevin shrugged but handed the money over anyway after finally finding his name badge and fixing it to his shirt.

Arnold had hugged him so tight, Kevin thought he would burst and promised to keep in contact and message him at least once a day - he couldn't deny Arnold that. Naba had kissed his cheek _for luck and_ _courage_ which Kevin knew he needed if he were to ever contact them again. Poptarts had teased him and said that Kevin's principles of sex before marriage had changed; Kevin had laughed at that. Connor gave him a hug and whispered in his ear to be safe and that if anything happened like the previous week he was to ring him and Connor would come as soon as possible.

Kevin walked up to the house, noticing a white envelope on the windowsill addressed to _Elder Price._ He ripped it open and saw notes that surpassed his payments from this client before- there had to be at least one thousand dollars in there. Kevin shoved it into his backpack and pressed the door bell, automatically adjusting back to the role of Super Mormon and fixed his hair.

A hand dragged him into the house and he was immediately shown to the bedroom.

_Mormon Missionary_ _uniforms_ _were_ _good_ _for one thing at least_ even if that activity wasn't necessarily approved by the Church he had once held with the upmost respect.

He couldn't wait to tell Liv _everything_ _._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. I hope I got all the characters spot on but I probably didn't lol. Anyways, this was a hard chapter to write but I wrote 1k of it in an hour which was fun. (Ester if you're reading this please don't judge me). 
> 
> Comments are my actual life source and make me want to write pls do so and keep me alive to write more. Hopefully the next chapter won't be such a long wait away.


	4. Chapter 4

It was another week before Kevin saw Connor again, barely recovered after meeting with his old family, unused to large displays of affection after six years away. He had spent the week in varying degrees of self loathing, from his eager self of _they totally_ _didn't_ _think my life_ _choices_ _are_ _weird_ _, they love me_ _still_ _and so by_ _default_ _I_ _must_ _be a pretty great person_ ; to his self deprecating self of _they_ _think_ _my life choices are_ _wrong_ _, they must hate me and so by default_ _I'm_ _a pretty shitty person._

His state of mind had been passed on to Liv and by some degree to Rosa (his other flat mate, who seemed to spend more time at her boyfriend come drug dealer's apartment than her own) which was why Liv had organised a _stay at home_ _absolutely_ _no sex Disney marathon because_ _you're_ _becoming_ _slightly_ _sad and_ _I_ _really_ _don't_ _want a repeat of_ _Orlando_ , Kevin. This was how, on the morning of proposed Disney marathon, Kevin found himself perplexed and staring at chocolate and other sweets that would surely make him put on a stone if he ate one.

It wasn't like this was a hard decision but with Kevin's state of mind quickly reaching self deprecating territory he had to think of things that made him feel worthwhile. Like the rare compliments he'd get after work from a weepy client who apologised over and over saying that they were the bad person, not Kevin and _here have an extra fifty dollars._

He grabbed a couple of packs of skittles and many cookies as well as general necessities that would save himself and his flat mates from a hunger disaster (he also bought a large amount of condoms and a couple of pregnancy tests for Liv and Rosa should _that_ situation arise).

It was oddly quiet when Kevin returned, save for Kevin's breathing  (walking up five flights of stairs was never fun). He dumped the shopping bags on the kitchen counter before calling out into the apartment and was met with Liv shouting something muffled in response.

"Where's Rosa?" he asked, cursing when he realised he had forgotten a pack of cigarettes for Liv.

"Where do you think," Liv responded, coming into the kitchen. "Listen, Kev-"

"If a billionaire ever takes pity on me I'm getting that girl some rehab," Kevin chuckled. "Oh, I forgot your lung destroyers."

"You might want to tone it down a bit."

"So _now_ you don't want to hear about my late night activities! You were all for it when you thought I'd done it with Connor-"

"Oh my God, Kevin, shut up!"

"-but not what I did last night! I have actual bruises on my wrists because she wanted to get kinky-"

"Really, you'll want to shut up."

"-and then, while I'm _still_ _tied to the bed_ , her partner comes home, my _God_ her face was priceless-"

"You know what? I'll just let you keep talking."

"-I've never seen anything like it! Fast forward two minutes and I'm trapped in her bathroom with no way out except from a really tiny window. So, I had to put my clothes on and then somehow escape through the window, which was not fun at all. What makes it better is that she paid for more but her partner came back too early," Kevin finished his story and waltzed into the living room.

He suddenly froze and heard Liv suppress laughter.

"How much of that did you hear?"

"All of it," Connor replied.

"Do you think you can forget what you just heard?"

"Nope," Connor smiled, embarrassed. "So, she thinks we had sex?"

Kevin was ready to throttle Liv.

"She assumed but I _swear_ I put her right," Kevin sat down next to him, feigning nonchalance, immediately putting an overconfident cover (which closely resembled his arrogant previous self) over his new self. "So, what brings you to this side of the city?"

"I wondered if you wanted to have lunch with me," Connor said and then quickly began talking again. "If you want to, you totally don't have to, I get that you're probably tired and I heard the ... things you did last night. We can do another day if you want or not all or you could come over and see Arnold again but there's no pressure at all if you don't want to," Connor inhaled sharply, trying to regain his breath after the rather large speel he had delivered.

"I, erm, sure. Yeah. Just give me ten minutes."

Kevin definitely noticed the suggestive look that Liv gave him and he resisted the temptation to make a snarky comment. As usual, she would want to know everything, as was their custom since they had met; he would get to know her misadventures before the Disney marathon, and he would make the comments then but for now he had the company of a man that he longed for for six years. That would be enough.

"Arnold wants to see you again, it's all he ever talks about at the minute," Connor stated as soon as they walked out the door.

Kevin smiled. "I will, I just needed time."

"Yeah, he's very full on, isn't he?"

"Always has been," Kevin sighed. "I searched him and you up on Facebook a couple of times but I was scared of what you'd think."

"Well, now you know," Connor grinned and bumped shoulders with Kevin.

"How did you meet back up with them? Last I knew was that you were headed to Las Vegas. Did that work out?"

"Not really, who thought building a city in the middle of the desert was a good idea? Honestly, I was there for a month and there were at least five drought warnings. I was glad when Arnold made me go to Salt Lake. He rang me as soon as he landed in a panic that you weren't there and then when he spoke to your parents he begged me to come back. I didn't 'cause I thought he was exaggerating about the drug thing but after a month of heat that resembled Africa I went back.

"Arnold convinced me to go speak to your parents 'cause he hadn't heard anything in that month. I said it was probably because rehab is meant to be secret or something, I don't know. Anyway, I went over there and your parents said that they sent you to a rehab centre in Australia 'cause you wouldn't be tempted to contact anyone from the Mission. They asked who I was before that and I think they still hate me for being the District Leader-"

(Kevin knew this was somewhat true but not for the reason Connor thought it was.)

"-'cause it failed. The next day they came to Arnold's and said that you'd quit rehab and that you rang them and said you'd never contact them again. They seemed distraught so we had to believe them.

"For the next year, me and Arnold went to sermons in your name for your parents to support them. I knew it was the same bull that you hated but it still brought me closer to you, to be in your old Church. I was even invited to Jack's wedding which was very Mormon and uptight."

"I wouldn't expect anything less," Kevin smiled slightly.

"Naba thought it was very strange, I must say. She thought everything was strange compared to Kitguli but Arnold's parents adore her so much because they never imagined Arnold would get married _and_ that he was somewhat more heavenly than you because of the drugs thing."

"He _is_ more heavenly than me," Kevin followed Connor into a restaurant that seemed fancy compared to Kevin's usual abodes. "What's the occasion?"

"Maybe I landed my first Broadway role and maybe I wanted to share the excitement with the one who persuaded me to follow my dreams," Connor gave a coy smile but it was evident he was ready to burst with joy.

"Oh my god! That's amazing, tell me everything. What show? Lead? Ensemble? Swing? Understudy?"

During their time in Uganda, Connor had introduced Kevin to the world of musical theatre with obvious glee and had launched to tell him everything that entailed in the world that seemed so foreign to Kevin. As with all things, Kevin had picked this up easily, and within a week was as good as all the other Elders at tap dancing - _maybe_ _even_ _better_ Connor had said as the two parted ways long ago.

"I'm in the ensemble of _Waitress!"_

Kevin tried to look thrilled, but this musical hadn't been in the few that Connor had decided to share with him.

Luckily Connor noticed that Kevin's lack of enthusiasm was from confusion and not disappointment.

"It's a new one, you wouldn't have heard of it," Connor spent the time from when the two were seated to until they received their food to explain the plot of the musical

"You need to get me tickets to see it. Oh my god, you're on _Broadway_! You'll be winning that special award thing in no time!"

"You mean the Tony Award?"

" _Yeah_ that's the one. You'll get like ten of those _and_ you'll get to meet that actress you like, erm, Elaine something."

"Elaine Page."

"Yes! That one! Fuck, Connor you've done it, you made it. I'm so proud of you!"

"Thanks," Connor smiled and put a hand in Kevin's. "I never forgot you, I always hoped  you'd come back. We never did get that coffee, did we?"

Kevin yanked his hand from Connor's. He wasn't ready to face that part of whatever they once were and if he had it his way, Kevin would never have to. He was doing just fine before Connor and the enterauge that followed him came back into his life. _He had_ _thrown_ _away the_ _God_ _damn paper_ _didn't_ _that show how ready_ _he_ _was to forget_ _and_ _move on?_

"I'm, I, I need... I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be back soon."

Kevin refused to glance back at Connor as he made his way to the restaurant's bathroom, the magnificence of the place slightly overwhelming him. An actual chandelier hung from the ceiling in the centre of the space and around the room were copies of famous paintings - at least Kevin assumed they were copies. He felt quite underdressed but that wouldn't embarrass him as he'd been in quite a few clothe-less situations in the past.

He reached the bathroom and immediately went to the sink and gripped the sides of it, staring into the mirror directly in front of him. He'd changed. A light stubble created a shadow on his face and his eyes fell prone to bags that looked far more like bruises than from lack of sleep. He kept his hair slightly shorter to keep it from getting in his face when he was working but underneath all the changes he still felt like the scared boy he had been when guns had been forced in his face and a crazy warlord had done... the _thing_ he had done.

Kevin was so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed the presence that stood behind him.

"I didn't realise you did roleplay outside the bedroom."

Kevin merely sighed at the familiar voice.

"Go away Jacob, I'm not in the mood."

"If i'd've known, we'd be going out every week."

"Really, Jacob, I'm not working and I don't do roleplay in anyplace _except_ the bedroom."

"Tell that to your newest sat out there who looks positively aroused by your mere presence."

Kevin focused his gaze on the reflection of Jacob Adams, his long time client who had followed him from just outside Salt Lake to Orlando and then to New York. It seemed the man couldn't get enough of him but Kevin couldn't grumble - Jacob gave the best money.

"He's a friend."

"Who wants to have sex with you."

"An old friend. A _Mormon_ friend."

"He still wants to have sex with you. What does he do? Is he a banker or, oh wait, I've got it, I bet he's an actor. He's definitely got the looks."

"Look Jacob, not to be rude, but what are you doing here? Don't you have young women and men to terrorise?"

"I came for a nice dinner with my wife, believe it or not."

"Ah right, I forgot, you do the terrorising after lunch."

" _You_ never complained."

"I still don't. Same time next week," Kevin called out from behind his shoulder and left Jacob alone but not before he could shout:

" _And bring your uniform."_

As Kevin walked back to the table, Jacob's words began to take their toll. What if Connor was only around him for the sex? If Jacob could see that _moment_ the two of them had and mistake it for lust on Connor's end then it could be very probable that it was true. Jacob always had a way with spotting things such as _lust_ _,_ _arousal_ _,_ _and_ _desperation_ all of which he used to his advantage.

But Connor surely wasn't like Jacob? He certainly wasn't under a boiling sun yet things had changed. Connor had grown along with Kevin although Connor looked better for it and maybe that growth could involve manipulation of the highest degree - _no, that_ _was_ _Jacob's_ _personality_ _, not_ _Connor's_ _,_ _get_ _a grip Kevin._

Connor smiled as Kevin sat himself back at the table. _Definitely_ _not manipulative._

"I didn't know what you wanted to drink so I just got you water because all the wines sounded way too fancy and coffee doesn't really go with any of the meals on the menu."

"Thanks. I'm sorry about... _that,_ I, well..."

 _I_ _can't_ _do_ _this_ _again_ _, not_ _ever_ _,_ _not_ _with_ _you_ _-_

"Don't worry, I get it."

"You do?"

"Yeah, you need more time. Anyway, how did you meet Liv?" Connor asked, somehow having retained the skill to remember names instantaneously and effectively change the subject without it being too weird.

"She found me in Orlando," Kevin made no move to further explain his and Liv's meeting as he thought this was sufficient  (and to tell Connor in full would include his _sex_ _worker_ _sob story_ which he would not be revealing any time soon.)

"Is she a... _sex_ _worker?"_ Connor lowered his voice to a whisper so that other patrons wouldn't judge the two of them.

"Yeah, she taught me most things. I'd've probably got killed if she hadn't."

Before Connor could ask any more prying questions, a waitress arrived to take their order. Kevin praised Heavenly Father, which he hadn't done in many years.

"Do you go back to Kitguli?" Kevin asked, trying to divert the conversation again.

"Now and again. Naba and Arnold go back twice a year and I go with them every two years. It's still really bad there but Asmeret's kid is growing up fast."

For the rest of their time at the restaurant Connor told Kevin about what he had missed regarding their Ugandan family. Of how the General had protected the village from other men with guns and that the majority of them had medicine for their AIDS/HIV. It was on the way back to Kevin's apartment that Connor proposed something.

"Do you want to come back to mine? Naba's cooking tonight and you really don't want to miss it."

"Yes," the words fell out of Kevin's mouth before he could think about it.

***

"Who here actually knows my real name?"

"It's Poptarts, right?"

Poptarts sighed at Arnold and gave him a despairing look which Kevin chuckled at.

"Seriously?! You've known me for seven years and you don't know my name?" Poptarts rolled his eyes. "I bet Kevin knows it and he hasn't lived with us."

Eyes turned to Kevin.

"Chris?"

"Praise Christ, he knows it."

Kevin had messaged Liv earlier with his new plans and hoped that she wouldn't be mad. Unsurprisingly she wasn't, and stated that they could do their Disney marathon another night after Kevin had his _Mormon_ _reunion_ _._

"Holy moly, I almost forgot! Kevin, buddy, best friend," Arnold said.

"Yes, Arnold?"

"You should totally come with us to Salt Lake for our annual family gathering! Popt- I mean, _Chris,_ can't come with us this year 'cause of a recital and my parents have already bought plane tickets for the four of us and I can't exactly give one up."

"I'll have to ask my roommate, but sure," Kevin truly felt guilty for leaving Arnold and hoped that this trip would make up for it.

***

Kevin spent the hours on the plane to Salt Lake City cramped between Arnold and a disgruntled businessman (identified by his suit and briefcase that he'd carried on the plane). In some ways it reminded him of the plane journey to Uganda with Arnold constantly talking about Star Wars ( _or was it Star Trek? It_ _definitely_ _had a star in it)_ theories that Kevin could hardly keep up with. But instead of being annoyed with it, he took it in his stride and didn't have to force a smile.

He heard Connor and Naba's giggles throughout the flight, even from five rows away. He was glad Connor had found some  happiness; he certainly deserved it after controlling the Elders and his gay thoughts. Yet still a niggling thought at the back of his head rang out with _we could have been more and happy_ _together_ _._ Kevin decided to ignore that thought and tune back in to Arnold who was ranting about The Hobbit - Kevin confessed to him that he thought Bilbo was a rabbit at first because Hobbit sounded like _Hare and Rabbit_ put together which made Arnold screech with disbelief. It was a long flight to say the least.

The group arrived at the Cunningham's house late in the morning after they had dropped their suitcases off at a nearby hotel - this was to be the first hurdle of many for Kevin throughout the day. It seemed that Arnold had omitted to tell his parents that Poptarts would not be accompanying the trio and that a supposed ex drug addict would be joining them instead.

Arnold's mother opened the door and took Arnold into a large hug. Kevin remembered that Arnold's mother was much more caring towards Arnold than his father was - he remembered how on the day of them leaving for their Mission, Mrs Cunningham had been constantly giving food to her son. She did the same to Nabulungi and to Connor but faltered when she saw Kevin.

" _Kevin_ _Price_?!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you!" Arnold shouted. "Kevin found us again! Poptarts couldn't come _so_ I asked my buddy instead 'cause you'd already bought the tickets and it'd be rude to waste your money and-"

"I think what Arnold is trying to say is that he knows it's a shock but he hopes that you can welcome Kevin into your home just as you have done with me," Naba spoke up as she noticed Mrs Cunningham getting redder with every word.

"Yes, of course," Mrs Cunningham shook herself out of her stupor. "Welcome. But you must understand that I ask if you've stopped taking the drugs. You are clean aren't you?"

"Squeaky."

And although Mrs Cunningham didn't give Kevin a hug, she did allow him into her home which counted as way more than a hug when Kevin Price, _ex drug_ _addict_ was involved.

The rest of the day passed in a blur of forced politeness from Kevin and a tendency to get in the way at every possible moment. Apparently his friends had a system as they set up for the family gathering - like a well oiled machine, they comfortably bantered with one another as they cooked and set up food tables and a play space for the younger kids. Kevin knew that this is what he had missed: the ability to be comfortable in silence with people that he had once knew inside and out. Now there were empty gaps where Kevin should have been, would have been if he had resisted his parents more and forced them to take him back with them. But why _would they_ _do_ _that? How could they do that? And being back in Salt Lake_ _didn't_ _help matters, it brought all_ _of_ _that pain back ten times worse_ _than_ _it had been before. He_ _hadn't_ _thought_ _of that in weeks and not in any specific detail and he can see it now,_ _see_ _the looks on his_ _parents_ _faces, see_ _the_ _dust kicked up from behind their car,_ _and_ _-_

There were better things to be thinking about now. No need to dwell on the past - tomorrow is a latter day and all that.

Soon, Arnold's family began to pour in and while, Arnold, Naba, and Connor began to make aimless small talk, Kevin found himself pressed into a corner with a snotty nosed four year old - potentially Arnold's cousin - who wanted to show off all the cars that she had brought with her. Kevin very much wanted to bang his head against a wall - children were not ever going to be a part of his future.

A swell in noise occurred and Kevin saw many members of Arnold's family come rushing to the front door. Multiple hellos and general greetings echoed from the hallway which forced Kevin out of his daydream about the Disney marathon _that_ _never_ _freaking_ _happened_ _._

Kevin looked up, ignoring the torrent of words that dribbled from Arnold's cousin's mouth - _I_ _love tractors! And diggers,_ _and_ _trains, and cars, and motorbikes, and_ _diggers_ _,_ _and_ _fork lift trucks, and snow plows!_ \- to see who caused such a commotion coming in. They must be loved by everyone to get such a welcoming reception, even from Arnold's grandfather who hadn't moved for the duration of the gathering.

"Oh you shouldn't have! Just bring the turkey right through to the kitchen," Kevin heard Arnold's mother say over the shouting.

"It was no problem, after what you've helped us through!"

Kevin felt his blood freeze in his body. His breath hitched and a million thoughts flooded through his mind. _Why_ _didn't_ _Arnold tell him they were_ _coming_ _?_

"Oh! Yes of course. Well, you'd better come through, we have a surprise for you!"

The easiest way out was out through the garden and to clamber over a couple of fences - the climbing was easy, Kevin had done it a couple of times when his client's partner had returned. But, to get outside was harder - Arnold had too many relatives and they'd all stop to ask him what he was doing now and how come they'd never seen him since before his Mission.

Another way to leave was to ask Connor to drive him to the hotel and make some excuse about not feeling well. But that meant having Connor lie for him. And it also meant he'd have to leave out the front door where they were just coming in.

He could jump out a window but that would cause more commotion than necessary. And he'd have to pay for the window which Kevin didn't really want to do.

He could run upstairs to the bathroom and hide up there until they left. But what if someone else needed to use it? Then he'd have to come out and face them anyway.

 _Quickly._ They were about to enter the sitting room. Kevin stood up, wandering over to where Connor was talking to Arnold's aunt about gardening or something. He pretended to be engaged in the conversation and then he heard his name.

 _Shit_ _._

"Kevin! Your family is here!" Mrs Cunningham took him by the arm and led him over to where his parents were stood.

They both looked the same as the last time Kevin had seen them, except they had more streaks of grey in their hair. His father still towered over him with his well built frame. His mother seemed just as small and timid but looked shocked to see her son again. His father glared at him but even so disbelief graced his features. Mrs Cunningham didn't pick up on the tension between the three of them, she simply asked whether any of them wanted a drink to which they all shook their heads.

"Mom. Dad," Kevin muttered.

"Kevin," his father said. "You're looking well."

"Thanks. The fifty dollars you gave me really helped with my physique," Kevin said sarcastically.

"Now, Kevin, we don't have to talk about the past, do we?" His father laughed nervously.

"It clearly mattered when I got back," Kevin scoffed.

"Kevin, we did it for your own good," his mother put a hand on his shoulder.

"My own good!? Do you mean your reputation in the Church? That's more important than your own kids to you, isn't it?"

Heads turned towards the three of them, which made Kevin's parents cheeks turn beet red.

"Perhaps we should take this outside," his father gestured toward the door.

"No!" Kevin pulled his mother's hand from his shoulder. "We can do this here! Arnold thought I'd been addicted to drugs, Connor thought I'd been shipped off to Australia. Shall we ask what everyone here thinks happened? Because I'm pretty sure each of them will give a different answer!"

"What are you talking about?" His father shook his head as if Kevin didn't know what he was saying. "We sent you to a rehab centre, which you then quit. We haven't heard from you since! It was only with the Cunningham's generosity that we made it through such a difficult time."

"You're lying! Shall I tell them what really happened!?"

"Are you high right now?" Kevin's mother asked.

" _What?!_ I've never taken drugs in my life! You abandoned me in the middle of no where, gave me fifty dollars, and told me in no uncertain terms to fuck off!"

"Outside. Now."

Kevin almost gave in to his father's demands - a lifetime of obeying coming back to him immediately. But then he realised that he was his own person. Someone who was head strong and could make their own decisions even if they caused harm because that's what being an adult is - doing something and then facing the consequences which Kevin's parents were about to do.

" _No._ You're going to listen to what I have to say and you're going to realise that you are _despicable."_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this is almost a month after the last update. I've been near London and in Wales for three weeks and I didn't manage to really write much!! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!! It's Kevin's sex worker sob story next chapter and I would really like to know what you think it is based on the info that's been given already. I'd love to see your theories! 
> 
> As always comments and kudos keep me going!


	5. Chapter 5

Six years ago, Kevin Price (recently Elder Price but had since dropped that title), tanned from one year (after his Mission was cut short - lack of funding had made it impossible for the Elders to survive there; the only consolation was that Arnold Cunningham had managed to score Nabulungi Hatimbi a Visa after having to get married) in Africa, stepped onto American soil. His mind had been changed for the better and he had made so many good friends along the way.

Arnold (his best friend and Mission Companion) had volunteered to take the later flight to Salt Lake City with Nabulungi as the seats on the plane were limited. Kevin let him. The two would have a lot more time together in the near future but Arnold deserved some alone time with Naba. Well, as alone as you could get in a Ugandan airport.

After vigorous security checks, Kevin was allowed out and back into Salt Lake City, his home that he had missed. He longed to see his mother's face again just to tell her how beautiful Africa was and how he wished she could have seen it. Waiting for him with grim expressions were his parents who didn't come rushing towards him like he thought they would, they stood, arms crossed and Kevin knew the reunion wasn't going to be fun.

"Hey," Kevin stood in front of his parents, a rucksack on his back but still dressed in Missionary uniform.

"Where's your suitcase?" His father asked.

"It got stolen the first day."

"You should have been looking after it," his father turned and began to walk out the airport, leading Kevin and his mother to the car.

"It was either I let it be stolen or I get shot," Kevin sighed exasperated.

"And why were you near guns? Heavenly Father preaches against violence, remember."

"I know, alright? Jeez, I tell you I nearly get shot, which happened multiple times, and you're more concerned about why I was near guns. Sorry, but I was always within a five miles radius of them and one of the villagers taught me how to shoot one, y'know, just in case a lion or a murderer decided to visit during the night," Kevin almost laughed at his parents open mouths. "I missed you guys," he said, hoping to regain any respect that he had just lost through his little speel.

"Yes, well, we missed you too," his mother pulled him hesitantly into a hug.

"How's Jack?"

Jack, Kevin's older brother (by one and a half years), had been sent to Germany on his Mission and was seemingly doing okay the last time Kevin had been in the US. At least Jack hadn't been excommunicated less than a week into his Mission which was more than could be said for Kevin.

"He's getting married next spring," his father made no further elaboration, but gave a stern glare to his wife who quickly sped up to walk by her husband's side; that left Kevin trailing behind the two of them, shivering at the 'freezing' temperature he had strolled into.

Kevin stayed silent for the the rest of the awkward walk to the car. He had expected a little more from his parents - a hug at the very least, or a surprise visit from his family - but he supposed that as he basically failed his Mission he shouldn't be so picky. It was a miracle his parents even came to pick him up in the first place; he expected to wait for Arnold and Naba just outside the airport, maybe find a phone box or something to ring Connor (even though he probably wouldn't be back home yet).

Connor McKinley had given all the Elders each other's phone numbers, highlighting his own in a pink pen with a heart above the 'i' in McKinley. Kevin held onto the little slip of paper he was given with vigour. He wouldn't phone any of the other Elders anyway (except Poptarts who Kevin had shared many conversations with early in the morning when Kevin would go for his coffee fix and Poptarts for the fix of his namesake); they hadn't bonded as much as he and Connor had. Certainly not, when that bonding contained quick kisses and hands in places unseen.

Kevin and his parents reached the car - a decaying red, almost brown clunker, that had been in the family for years - and as soon as he sat down, he had drifted into an easy sleep, the first since Uganda (afterall, Naba's threat of lions, murderers, AIDS, and safari ants _that can_ _actually_ _bury under_ _your_ _skin and eat_ _you_ _from the_ _inside_ _out_ had made Kevin insanely nervous about sleeping). The worst thing was he felt safe and trusted his parents and that would be his downfall.

Kevin felt the car come to a stop. His eyes flickered open, resting upon the dashboard. It read _14:28._ And it didn't take near on two hours to get from the airport to Kevin's house. So where _the_ _hell_ had his parents drove to?

He looked out the window, only to see a long stretch of road, a huge expanse of fields, and the odd tree. His parents were whispering, their heads close together, giving the odd glance towards their bewildered son.

"Where are we?" like so many years ago, Kevin attempted to stand up to get a better look but was restricted by his seat belt. This time he took it off, sliding to the middle seat.

"We've been thinking," his mother began, turning to her husband for assistance.

"Your record, it isn't the best now. And you were such a good Mormon before. If we, well, if we let you stay with us - imagine what it'll look like if you stayed in Salt Lake with us. It'll look bad on us for not taking action, especially from the Church," his father spoke calmly.

"Wait, what are you saying? Is this about the excommunication? Because Elder McKinley made sure that we were allowed back into the Church," Kevin felt his stomach drop and his breath sharpen.

"Well, yes, it doesn't look good on us. You made up a new religion Kevin! Don't deny it, we've seen Arnold Cunningham's letters, and we hardly think that your new God _Moroni from the Star Ship Enterprise_ is Mormon worthy."

"So that's it? I make one small mistake-"

" _Small_ _?_ You converted an entire African village into worshipers of a figure who had _AIDS_!"

"I make one small mistake, which really wasn't my fault," (Kevin gave an apology to Arnold). "You don't know what I've been through, you really don't. How about I send you to Africa, where you can get a gun shoved in your face, where you can see people die, where you can loose your faith. You wouldn't survive it!" Kevin felt tears prick at his eyes but he refused to show his parents his weaknesses.

" _You_ _lost faith in Heavenly Father_?" His father's face contorted with anger. "And after we told you to return. This wouldn't have happened if you listened to what we say for once!"

" _I always listened!_ All my life I've heard stories that make no sense. Well guess what? I grew up, I've made my own decisions, and I really, _really_ like coffee," Kevin decided to drop the ultimate blow. " _And_ I'm in a relationship with my District Leader, who is also male, just so you know."

Tense silence filled the air until-

"Get out of my sight _right now._ Here's fifty dollars, don't spend it all at once."

Kevin found himself traipsing away from Salt Lake, the dust of his parent's car barely visible in the distance. He didn't know how far it was to the nearest town, or what the nearest town was, his instinct was to just walk and hope that he didn't die of heat exhaustion (although, it wasn't quite as hot as Uganda). Hopefully he wouldn't get kidnapped as his parents wouldn't pay the ransom, certainly not now.

Instead of the situation at hand, Kevin began to think of Africa, the best and worst year of his life. He mostly thought about the quiet moments he had shared with Connor - they were blissful, almost perfect, the moments in the hottest part of the day when all the other Elders would gather in their respective rooms, leaving the living space to the two of them. Not much had been done except intense 'mouth to mouth' contact and sometimes the odd roaming hand. But it had been wonderful.

Kevin pulled a piece of lined paper from the pocket of his trousers, the numbers of the Elders glaring back at him, their pink ink stark against the white surface. He felt utter despair clench at his stomach and head - _what the hell was he_ _supposed_ _to do with fifty dollars, no where to stay (which he would need if he were to ever find a job), and no college degree?_

He could find another Mormon Church but then again, if his parents had reacted as badly as they had, then surely the other members of the Church in another town would be much less understanding. His name was known everywhere. Kevin had been an exemplary Mormon and kids from everywhere came to his Church so that he could teach them how to be _perfect_ just like him. At the Missionary Training Centre people were in awe of him, calling him the best Mormon the centre had ever seen.

That had been thrown away, alongside Kevin's dignity ( _see_ _having_ _a book painfully_ _shoved_ _up_ _his back_ _entrance_ _)._

Sometime later, thoughts of his future flooding his head, Kevin arrived on the edge of the next town. There were a couple of clothes stores as well as a Starbucks and a B&B further up the road. It was empty which was understandable, except from the odd person who gave him funny looks.

_Ah yes, he was still in his_ _Missionary_ _uniform._

Kevin thought he may as well utilise the money that he had been given and made his way into the seemingly cheaper of the clothes stores. After half an hour, Kevin exited, adorning a T-shirt ( _finally after one long year of high collars_ ), some jeans, and trainers, a pair of shorts in his backpack - he looked _normal._ He didn't look like some religious guy that people would do anything to avoid. He looked like a college student, backpacking in his gap year.

His hands lingered over a trash can, his old uniform almost falling into it, the name badge sparkling in the sun. Instead of dropping it, he stuffed it unceremoniously into his backpack unable to let go of the past.

He didn't know what to do first. Fifteen dollars remained in his back pocket which could buy him food for a week or so but would leave him without a place to stay. Kevin could, in theory, find his way back to Salt Lake and go stay with Arnold until he got back on his feet but that wouldn't be fair on Arnold's parents - it was also too near his own family for comfort.

Betrayal seeped through his heart. A cold melancholy lingered at all Kevin had lost and what he could still lose. Loss was an enigma to him; he had never lost anything in his life until Uganda, and even then he had managed to gain more things than the ones he had lost. He had gained companionship and the ability to not feel lonely in a group of people, something which Arnold had taught him.

He wasn't very good at being alone. Kevin thrived off attention. If a room didn't focus on him straight away he would find himself panicking and doing stupid things like _trying_ _to_ _convert_ _a crazy warlord._ He needed someone to ground him, to tell him everything would be alright, and that person for the last year had been Connor but Connor wasn't here, he was in Las Vegas, or at the very least on a plane headed to Las Vegas, and Kevin couldn't phone him. No, Connor didn't need him because they had agreed to take a break so not only had he _lied_ to his parents about being in a _homosexual_ relationship, he didn't have anyone to immediately turn to, to calm him down. How was he going to cope, he couldn't breathe, and it was going dark, _he_ _couldn't_ _breathe_ _,_ and he still didn't know where he was, _he_ _couldn't_ _breathe_.

 _Couldn't quite get air to his lungs_.

"I'll give you two hundred to take your virginity."

Kevin regained his senses. Distantly he remembered night settling in and stumbling down to a fairly deserted area, his irrational mind thinking it was okay to 'camp' where he could definitely see at least two needles of some kind lying on the ground.

"Are you offering or what? C'mon, two hundred is quite a bit where I'm from."

"What are you, what are you talking about?"

"You're an escort right?"

"A what?"

"An escort? Y'know, a prostitute? People pay you to have sex and you go buy drugs and shit?"

"Oh my _gosh, no!_ No, I am _not_ a, a _prostitute."_

"Figures," the man said and for the first time Kevin took in his features. He seemed middle aged, grey hairs already adorning his dark hair and wrinkles etched into his skin. He wore a full piece suit, his tie reminding Kevin of Connor's own floral variety and despite the question he had asked Kevin, Kevin couldn't help but feel that he was a somewhat nice man. "The offer still stands anyway. You're pretty hot for a _not_ prostitute."

Kevin gaped at him, his panic almost returning. "No, I erm, thank you but no."

"Are you sure? I could give you three hundred if you want?'

" _No,_ _please_ just go," Kevin pulled his rucksack closer to his body, his mind racing and heart pounding.

The man nodded and turned around and headed in the direction of his (very expensive) car.

Kevin took gulping breaths, his eyes unable to leave the still near figure. Only a few hours had passed and somehow he had been mistaken for a _prostitute._ That hit home - did he really look that desperate? He supposed he was. Where was fifteen dollars going to get him? Certainly not back to Salt Lake City or to Las Vegas.

Could he take the man up on his offer? Just say _yes but_ _please_ _be_ _aware_ _that_ _I'll_ _probably_ _scream_ _due_ _to_ _previous_ _encounters_ _,_ _most_ _notably_ _with_ _the_ _book_ _of my_ _previous_ _religion._ Would the man be gentle? Or would he be cruel but not a veritable monster compared to The General. Surely it couldn't be that bad? He was already having homosexual thoughts, did it matter if he got paid for it?

"Wait," his mouth betrayed him, speaking before he had fully made up his mind.

The man turned, a bemused expression flitting across his face.

"Three fifty and I'll do it," Kevin's voice was more confident than he felt.

The man beckoned him and Kevin hurried to follow and soon settled into the leather seats of his car. The man introduced himself as Jacob Adams from a small town near Berkshire, England that Kevin had never heard of before nor committed to memory. Jacob filled the silence with how he had came to own part of an airway company and that he had come to the US to expand his business - Kevin heard very little of this as his focus was mainly on trying to keep his breathing regular.

Blessedly, Jacob Adams was gentle.

"You can stay here for as long as you like," Jacob said afterwards, the two of them lying in his bed, space between them. "And I can pay you again if you want."

Kevin just nodded and kept his eyes fixed on the ceiling, eyes brimming with tears, and an intense longing for Connor McKinley's arms. He willed them to stop; he couldn't show any weakness and if he did, they would find no end.

"So," Jacob turned on his side, coming to face Kevin, only the top half of his body visible. "What's your name? And what's your story?"

Kevin gave him many details and told him as much of his life story as he could remember. In retrospect, it wasn't a clever move to give a stranger his life, but he needed to expel everything that held him back - for that opportunity, at least, he was thankful. Jacob Adams seemed pitiful of him, of his short life filled with misery and even shared Kevin's previous disdain at being taken to Uganda.

Over the next ten days, Kevin became a sort of housewife to Jacob, cooking meals in return for a place to stay. It was an odd arrangement, but one that made perfect sense for both involved. Kevin earned just over twelve hundred dollars and each time Jacob made sure that he was okay which he was intensely grateful for (years later, he'd realise that this was not normal behaviour for clients and was blessed to have someone of such kindness for his first job).

Bubbling under the surface lay an extreme guilt that Kevin decided to mostly ignore. Here lay another chance to start over without the influence of the Church or Arnold or Connor. Somehow he was free from the shackles of _Elder Price_ and had gained an entirely new existence but at the cost of his friends come family. He'd tell them why someday, why he chose to stay away but he hoped that day would be firmly in the future or perhaps not occur at all.

On the evening of the tenth day spent in Jacob's apartment, Kevin found himself back at the same airport from where he had arrived more than a week earlier. He had stolen an additional two hundred and figured that Jacob could do without it - he still felt guilty about it, but decided to press it to the back of his mind, turning the guilt _firmly off. (_ _Also_ _turned firmly off was his_ _feelings_ _towards Connor and Arnold and Naba and all his friends because they_ _didn't_ _exist in this new world_ _that_ _he had created, they_ _existed_ _in_ _Uganda_ _not here,_ _never_ _here_ _)._

He arrived many hours later in Orlando, Florida and soon found a relatively cheap B&B at thirty dollars a night in the centre of the city. A month quickly passed since he first arrived, and soon Kevin was down to a measly five dollars (and two cents). He knew he had to get more money from somewhere and had tried for practically every job going - even _Disney_ didn't want him, saying _you have to apply online._ What the heck was he supposed to do with no access to the Internet?

This was how he ended up in an alleyway, mouth attached to some dude's... _thing._ It was a weird sensation and Kevin wasn't entirely sure what he was supposed to be doing - if it's called a blowjob, then aren't you supposed to _blow?_ That was in the name, but he had heard some non-Mormon people when he was at school describe one in detail before he had read some passage from the Book Of Mormon.

The man pulled away and began to walk off, leaving Kevin still kneeled on the floor. Kevin quickly regained his composure and ran after the client.

"Wait, where are you going?! You, you said ten bucks, I just - with your," Kevin gripped onto the man's arm, forcing the man to turn around. "You promised."

"And you were really shit, _that_ doesn't deserve _shit_ _._ "

"I never said I was any good, I said I'd try and I did and I really need the money. It's just _ten bucks,_ surely you can part with that-"

"I'm not fucking paying you, _slut,"_ the man jerked his arm from Kevin's grip and began to walk away.

" _Please_ _!_ Look, you can give me five if you thought I was that bad," Kevin still remained at the other's heels and once again grabbed at his arm at the mouth of the alley.

"Didn't you hear me?! Are your ears affected as well as your mouth?! _I'm_ _not_ _paying_ _you_ _!"_

Kevin made a single noise of protest before a fist flew at his face, connecting harshly with the bottom of his eye socket. His hands immediately went up to cover the rest of his face, a stinging sensation remaining at his right eye. Before he could recover a knee forced it's way into his stomach which made him double over. The man shoved him to the floor, an arm landing awkwardly on the rough tarmac and Kevin hissed in pain. A foot repeatedly slammed into his ribs and once at his nose, leaving him heaving for air and praying that he'd survive this with as few broken bones as possible.

" _Whore,_ " the man spat, giving one last firm kick to Kevin's stomach.

He hurt all over. If he ever recovered from this, if he ever rose from the position he was in - cheek pressed to the floor, legs sprawled somewhere behind him, arm pressed under him - he'd just admit defeat, go back to Uganda, somehow find the money, go back to where he felt most happy and free and safe even though Uganda was renowned for its danger. He could go work with Gotswana, or help Mafala now that Naba had come to America. Oh God, he was so tired, maybe if he just drifted off...

 _No._ Couldn't you die or something if you fell asleep after a head injury? Wasn't that something that happened? Kevin didn't know, didn't care really, he knew he wanted to at least survive the night, and maybe then survive until he could get to his friends. Friends, _huh_ , funny word when you think they're your family. Funny word to think really, when you've abandoned them. He hadn't abandoned them, _no way,_ just taken a leave of absence, and maybe he could find a phone box, if they had them here, suppose they could, and ring Connor or Arnold or Poptarts or Church. Yeah, ring _Church_ _,_ see what he says, could ask him how to recover from potential broken ribs.

_That sounded awful, wow._

Somehow Kevin managed to pull himself into a seated position, resting against a nearby wall and dragged his bag from where he had just ... done the thing he had done with his mouth. He wouldn't be able to forget that for a long time.

"Holy _shit._ You alright?"

(As Kevin grew close to the voice that belonged to that of Liv, he would tell her that he regretted not saying something sarcastic in response. Liv would then remind him that he couldn't speak properly, so sarcasm was definitely not on the agenda.)

" _Jesus Christ._ Right, well, fuck me, I'd better help you. I can't promise I won't hurt you, but I'll try to be as gentle as possible."

Kevin felt himself be lifted up off the floor by the woman and as he stood, he leaned on her for support, still holding onto his bag.

"Do you think you can walk a couple of blocks?"

Kevin's answer was a simple nod of his head, but even that sent his vision blurry so he confined himself to focusing on one step at a time. Soon they turned into a block of flats that seemed to be falling apart and Kevin was surprised that the elevator, although smelling of piss, actually functioned. He'd expected to have had to climb the stairs all the way up to the top.

Once in the apartment, which was decorated to be much more classy than the outside looked, the woman sat him down at the kitchen table before disappearing for a moment, allowing Kevin to take in the whole apartment. The kitchen was small and hardly fit the table in and he could see across the equally as small hallway that the living room contained one gray sofa and a TV. He assumed it was one bedroomed (and his assumptions were later proved correct) and was grateful that not as many people would see him in the state he was in.

The woman, a petite blonde (the blonde, Kevin found out later, was dyed in order to cater for a specific client of Liv's) soon came back, armed with first aid supplies and a basin filled with warm water.

"I know this is gonna' be extremely uncomfortable for you, but you're gonna' have to take your shirt off so I can see the damage."

"What's your name?" Kevin asked, after he had taken his shirt off with some difficulty.

"Olivia Welbank. Call me Liv, my mom used to call me Olivia - those were not fun years," Liv gave a self deprecating smile. "What's yours?"

"Kevin Price,. Thank you for this, I-"

"Don't thank me, you were about to pass out and no one else was gonna' help you. Plus, I need a roommate, you seem like the perfect candidate," Liv tried to keep a straight face and then burst out with laughter. "You're welcome, honestly. I've been there and someone helped me, so I thought I'd return the favour."

"Are, you a, a erm, a pr- a prostitute?" Kevin asked, wincing as Liv wiped blood from his nose. 

"We prefer the term _sex worker._ It's much more dignified. Do you want me to tell you my sob story?"

"Sob story?"

"Every sex worker has one. I was seventeen when I started, but before that I was in a bad situation. My dad died and I couldn't cope, he was my rock and the only person I truly cared about - that was when I was fifteen. I fell in with the wrong people and got addicted to meth, crack, that sorta' thing, which I would not reccomend. My boyfriend was the dealer so I got it free for a couple of years and then suddenly he was all _you're_ _an adult, you can_ _pay_ _for it_ but I didn't have any money on me and I was completely desperate, so he suggested that I give him a blowjob in exchange for the drugs, which turned into full blown sex. He dumped me after a while, said that he wanted money for all the drugs he'd given me over the years, so I ran. I didn't know what else to do, and sex work seemed like the only option. I came here four years ago, two years clean, and about one friend who's more interested in drugs than me," Liv shrugged. "Without the blood and bruises, you'd have a really pretty face."

"I hate to break it to you, but I don't swing that way," Kevin felt at ease despite Liv's troubled past and as a Mormon he would have probably spouted some religious bull that made no sense.

"Right, well, there go my plans for the night," Liv said and began to examine his eye, frowning when she saw the developing purple colour. "So, how'd you end up in Orlando?"

"It was my favorite place in the world, I came here when I was younger with my family, we're Mormons-"

" _Mormons?!_ Like the people who go from door to door yelling about God and forcing a book at people? You don't see that everyday, Mormon turned sex worker, carry on, sorry."

"We're Mormons and I had a lot of siblings, so this was the only vacation that I remember being perfect so I wanted to come here for my Mission. It's where we go out and help people by introducing them to _The Book Of Mormon,"_ Kevin explained, seeing Liv's confused expression. "Instead of Orlando, I got sent to Uganda - it's in Africa - with one of the most annoying people I have ever met. Long story short, I lost it and abandoned the Missionaries and we got excommunicated. My parents demanded me to come home but I didn't so they left me in the middle of no where with fifty dollars. Someone asked to take my erm, my, well-"

"You don't have to say it if you don't want to."

"Yeah, anyway, he did that and then I left to come here about a month ago. Then tonight I gave someone a - y'know, with my mouth, and he didn't pay me after, so this happened."

"He didn't pay you before?" Liv said, trying to make sense of the situation.

"No?"

" _Jesus_ _,_ you get them to pay you _before,_ that way you're guaranteed payment," Liv smiled at the younger man's face, now devoid of blood, but still bruised; clients would be attracted to this face and Liv couldn't wait to be there when that happened.

Another month flew by and soon Kevin was somewhat confident with his new self, with the help of Liv and her ever helpful advice (" _Do_ **_not_** _bite unless they ask you to, and even_ _that's_ _pretty rare"_ and _"_ _You_ _need to_ _get a_ _phone otherwise_ _you're_ _not gonna get any regulars and_ _then_ _we're gonna be on the street_ _without_ _coffee_ _,_ _yeah_ _that's_ _right_ _, no_ _coffee_ _"_ ). Soon, he pretty much knew all there was to know about Liv: that she hated asparagus but could be partial to the cat variety (Kevin was shocked to find that Liv was just as passionate about musicals as Connor had been) and that she could sing the alphabet backwards. In return, Liv knew the majority of what had transpired in Uganda: of General Butt Fucking Naked and Kevin's close proximity to the _Book Of Mormon._ She also knew the personalities of the Elders and said that she could get on with Connor well if they were ever to meet. She did not know, however, about Kevin's affiliation with Connor in the romantic sense, only that Kevin had a crush on him and not that they had participated in ... _things_ _._

But this was fine. This was more than fine, this was _belonging_ _._

He got to know Liv's neighbours: Rosa and Hadley, also sex workers and at least five years older than Kevin and Liv. But that didn't matter. He had friends. He had a community of people who accepted him, sex work and all. He still looked at the piece of paper that Connor had given him everyday, willing himself to pick up the phone, call someone, tell them he was sorry, and that he had _never wanted to_ _end_ _up_ _like_ _this._ (As the years went on, Kevin would find himself not looking at the piece of paper for weeks and then, finally, throwing it away and fully accepting himself).

Kevin had gotten used to the routine of staying out late at night in hope that someone would pay him for his services. It was getting close to when he'd usually head back to the apartment when he sensed a figure behind him, stumbling slightly from the bar that he had exited. He came toward Kevin but his features indistinguishable in the dark; Kevin decided to wait until the man made a move on him before offering so averted his eyes to the floor.

"I'll give you two hundred to take your virginity."

Kevin's head shot up, the familiar words ringing in his ears as his heart began to beat faster.

"Are you offering or what? C'mon, two hundred's quite a bit where I'm from."

"Jacob?"

"Oh my, look who it is, it's the Mormon!" Jacob said condescendingly.

"What, what are you doing here?"

"I could say the same for you _and_ I could also ask you about the two hundred that disappeared from my wallet unless you do something for me."

"Is that a threat?"

"That would be telling."

A pause and Kevin gave into the pressure. "What do you want me to do?"

"First you tell me when you're leaving or moving or whatever. _You_ are the best thing I've found in years," Jacob's words were slurred slightly, but Kevin knew he would remember this in the morning. "And now, you can repay me for the two hundred."

That was Kevin's first introduction to sex work in uniform.

A couple of years passed with nothing major. Kevin and Liv remained in Orlando, going to Disney only once before Liv realised that Kevin would turn back into a child as soon as he entered the place (or saw something remotely Disney related) and really, she couldn't be bothered to deal with an over excited best friend. Kevin found himself getting closer to happiness, even though he still had moments of self doubt and overwhelming anxiety which still remained after his escapades on his Mission.

Jacob stayed Kevin's main client. Kevin found out that Jacob had a wife and a kid who was around the same age as Kevin himself - Kevin found this weird but he couldn't judge, especially not now. At some points, Kevin thought that Jacob's nice persona had been the true man behind the suit, but quickly regained his roaming thoughts when he realised that Jacob was just plain manipulative.

He checked up on Arnold and Connor from time to time after searching them on Facebook, and saw that they were relatively happy without him. At first he still longed to be with them, but that soon developed into a sense of gladness for them and the rest of the Elders who were often pictured when they all met up. After a while, Kevin couldn't see the gap where he used to perfectly fit, the lines were all blurred, but he was perfectly fine with that.

Change came one night in the form of a blood spattered Rosa.

Kevin and Liv were preparing to head out, throwing kind insults at each other, mostly about their choice of client and their price list ( _"Really Liv?! A_ _hundred_ _for a blowjob!?"_ ) when there was a frantic knocking on their door. The two gave eachother a nervous look and Kevin grabbed a lamp from the bedroom and opened the door. He immediately dropped it when he saw Rosa, mascara running down her face coupled with the unmissable stain of red iron.

_(His mind flew back to when someone had been shot in front of_ _him_ _in Uganda, the unholy noise of the_ _gun_ _and the screams that followed.)_

"Rosa! What's happened? Where's Hadley!?" Liv rushed towards their friend and Kevin shut the door firmly behind them as Rosa entered.

"Everything, everything was fine and then... then all of a sudden there were gun shots and police, y-you can't go down there tonight, we have to get away, they're cracking down on us, we have to go _no_ w!"

"Slow down," Kevin led Rosa to the sofa. "Where's Hadley?"

"Sh-she's gone, they _shot_ her. _Right next to me_."

"We have to go, Kev. It's not safe if they're shooting," Liv stressed.

"New York, we go to New York, we get a shitty apartment for all of us, and we go _now_."

"How can we get an apartment!? It's-"

"I'll ask Jacob, I'll do whatever I have to to keep you safe. You're my family, Liv."

They went to New York the same night, after Kevin promised to pay Jacob back in favours for the use of his New York apartment for a month. The three of them moved to a nicer neighbourhood than they had been used to in Orlando; Kevin decided that this was something in between brilliance (with Jacob and his parents) and desolation (the Mission Hut and the Orlando apartment) and he was very much content with that.

But still, the ever present ghost of Connor's lips against his lingered until he straight up told people _no_ _kissing_ in case the barely there ghost disappeared. He didn't want to lose the last thing Connor had given him and definitely not to someone who _used_ _him_ for the abomination he was ( _Jacob had only started to_ _use_ _this phrase recently during their roleplay sessions)_.

Kevin was _okay_ for four whole years until one night a gun had been thrust in his face and he'd been pressed against a wall, hoping that this client would be quick. And suddenly the client was on the floor, a saviour of some kind placing threats, and a misunderstanding of thoughts. He had walked away at first when he heard his saviours name but had to turn around because he could never run from Connor McKinley. Then came the meeting of old friends and a lunch with his saviour and then a dinner with the same old friends. Next came a plane journey and awkward reintroductions of family members who deserted him and left him alone.

" _This_ is what you turned me into. You left me with _nothing_ ," Kevin began to crumble and bit back tears. "You're my parents, you were meant to protect me from this, you don't just dump your kid in the middle of no where, even if they aren't Mormon or have gay thoughts. You're meant to love them no matter what, I... I was _so scared_ and I still am. Just tell me, _why_? Why did you leave me?"

The room fell silent and Kevin felt a hundred eyes pierce the back of his head. He felt small, a child if anything, who needed answers from those who had vowed to never leave him.

"You're... You're a _sinne_ r?!" his father said.

"That's not an answer to his question," Connor stepped beside Kevin and held his hand reassuringly. " _Why_ did you leave him?"

"That is _vile._ You are _not_ a part of my family, you don't deserve anything. If you had just listened and done what you were told on your disaster of a Mission, you wouldn't be headed straight to Hell!"

"You really shouldn't say tha-"

" _Be quiet!_ I don't understand how _you_ still come here, year after year, flaunting your homosexual behaviour for all to see. It's unnatural, Heavenly Father says that men should only lie with women! At least _he_ won't be alone in Hell."

Kevin pulled his hand from Connor's and turned only to see the concerned faces of Arnold and Naba as well as the shocked ones from members of Arnold's family. For the first time in a long time, he truly felt evil for the way that he lived his life. He charged through family members to get outside and when he did he continued down the road and heaved in cool night air.

"Kevin! Wait up," he heard a voice shout and this time he knew it was Connor.

"No, just leave me alone, _please_ ," Kevin stressed, but even so turning towards Connor, uncaring that his face was probably red and blotchy.

"I can't, not now. It's all true? Your parents did that to you?"

"How else do you think I'd end up like this!?"

"I just expected you'd have rang one of us or something! Why didn't you?"

"Because I didn't have a phone or the money and by the time I did I thought you'd have forgotten about me. I looked at that _damned_ piece of paper every day for a year and I could have picked up the phone but I didn't! How was I to know how you'd react!?"

"We wouldn't have-"

"You were still Mormons then, I-"

"Do you really think we'd have turned you away!?"

"My parents did! And then I met Liv, and I was like _oh this could work,_ _I_ _could finally do_ _something_ _that people_ _want_ _me to do,_ and I didn't have anything else to fall back on."

"A call, anything, just to say that you were alive-"

"I was _this_ close to being happy. The day that you found me I threw the paper away, I was finally done with the old me and had fully embraced who I was, who I am now, and that's just been fucked up."

" _I_ _thought_ _we had_ _something_ ," Kevin finally looked at Connor's face instead of looking past it. It was hurting him too and Kevin couldn't bare to see it on the cusp of just hurting. "I thought that I meant something to you."

And so Kevin decided to break the other man's heart.

"You did, but now you don't. I can't be around you, I have a life without you. So please, _please,_ don't come near me."

"Wait, what?! What do you mean?"

"We were going to leave New York, me and Liv, but then she told me to at least talk to you again. I did, and look where it got me. We're going to London and then who knows but I won't be coming back here."

"So that's it? You won't even give this a chance?"

"That _chance_ ended in Africa, Connor. It's best you just forget about me."

"You can't do this. I won't let you."

 _"I'm sick of people telling me what I can and can't do_! I had that for years in the Church. You're not a District Leader anymore, you can't say anything that'll make me stay."

"What if I say I still love you?"

"Love is overrated and it means _nothing_ _._ Hopefully we won't meet again and it's for the best, it really is. Say bye to Arnold and Naba for me."

And with that, Kevin Price walked away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy moly this was a long one. Fun fact: I wrote the first half of this and the last part before I'd written most of the first chapter! 
> 
> I'm sorry about the cliffhanger but I promise things will work out. 
> 
> Fun things about this chapter: 
> 
> 1) many of the scenes are short because Kevin is recounting them and he's getting so worked up that he flys through them quickly
> 
> 2) Liv's sob story is based off a true story that a sex worker shared on the show I watched 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this far and hopefully the next and final chapter will be coming soon if I can write it. If you have any questions about this fic please message me on Instagram on @broadwayiscooliguess. 
> 
> Comments and kudos make me happy :)


	6. Chapter 6

 

There are times when Kevin regrets his choice. He could have stayed in Uganda, or stayed with Connor, or stayed with Arnold, or turned back around when he still had the chance. But there are times when Kevin feels so incredibly happy and free as well.

He wishes he had made things better with Connor. He wishes that he had stayed. That can't do anything now. Wishes are gone. Kevin can't believe that they work anymore.

Liv came with him. She couldn't abandon him, especially as Jacob was sure to follow.

Leeds is different to New York. Leeds is cold and wet and everyone speaks with an accent so strong that Kevin and Liv stick out like a sore thumb. But that's good in a way. They get more clients. Leeds is also very grey at times and _Northern_ and Kevin can't understand what the people are saying half the time.

Leeds has a legal red light district which means that the threat of police raids are no where near as prominent as they once were in Kevin's life. The drugs are a problem though and his family are saying that they'll probably turn it illegal again. He's too high to care most of the time.

Kevin gets a friend request off Connor on Facebook the first month of moving and a message from him, asking to start again. He's too far gone to care. Instead, he imagines what would have happened if he had been lying about going to London (which in some ways he was but he did go to London before being told about Leeds).

He would have gone to Arnold, made peace with him. And then remembered Uganda in a park whilst watching kids play. Connor would find him and they'd kiss under the light of a thousand stars. That couldn't happen but Kevin sometimes believed it to be true.

They'd lean in. A smile playing on their lips as they were brought together. Bliss.

He had never wanted to do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry for the long wait and for the anti climax. I had planned for a different ending, one which was much happier but I can't really do happy angst is more my constant thing. 
> 
> And thus ends this fan fiction. I'd take another read and listen to Ed Sheeran's Thinking Out Loud that the fic was somewhat based upon. 
> 
> Originally I had planned that Kevin would go and make things right with Arnold and Connor but I think that this ending is much more ambiguous and is much more melancholic than the other ending. I hope you have enjoyed this fic and so, for the last time here, I will say goodbye and pls follow me on Instagram- broadwayiscooliguess


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